Jordan's Bacon Candy

Heather gets the credit for naming this...and since it is her birthday today...this post goes out to her...the namer of "Bacon Candy".  (Heather, if you weren't in Haiti I would make you a big ol' plate with 35 pieces of Bacon Candy piled high. All.To.Yourself.  That would be my present to you. You know it would be the best present ever. Maybe the best present, or at least hypothetical one, that you've received in 35 years. Happy Birthday!! I sure love you.)

Juliette first introduced me to the goodness of Bacon Candy at Blaire's bridal shower...way back before Heather even named it "Bacon Candy". Juliette got it from Jordan.  And, Jordan, I don't know where you got this recipe...or if you're even the originator...but you'll get the credit for being the creator of this recipe forever and ever, as far as my family is concerned. It'll go down in the Apel family cookbook as "Jordan's Bacon Candy" to be passed down to my great, great, great grandchildren. Truly.

Okay...I'm done with my Grammy Acceptance Speech.  But, I feel like I need to give that every time I make Bacon Candy, as the response is always adoration...and I just don't feel like I deserve the credit. It is so simple.

So...back to bacon candy...what the what? I know. You're curious.  Everyone is always curious when it's mentioned.  Curiosity.  Skepticism. Humility. Adoration. Say it with me, now...that's usually the correct order of emotions in response to Bacon Candy.

Now that you're curious, let's move onto skepticism as you find out what it's made of: bacon, dates, almond butter. That's it.  I won't mention any names, but I've had people stick their nose up as I've listed the ingredients.  Some even down right refuse to try it.  And some are adamant that they will NOT like the delightfully deadly combination...but those same people usually decide to take a risk, in all their skepticism, and try it. 

And then they enter what I call Step 3: Humility.  Humility looks like them getting down on their hands and knees and asking for forgiveness for seeming so smug and stubborn and like I'd actually lead them astray when it comes to something like food...and once the begging ensues, I'd say we've reached Step 4: Adoration...where they're asking for me to write Jordan's Bacon Candy recipe and asking me to sign my autograph at the bottom of the recipe card.

So...this is where we'll pick up...I'm sparing you the Four Step Program...are you ready? This really is good. I promise.  So good that my kids gladly traded in their large bags of Halloween candy for a batch of their own.  No lie.  But, also so good that my husband will learn of this for the first time as he reads this post because...they ate ALL of the Bacon Candy on November 1st before he even got home from work at 5:05 p.m.  I figured it was better than half of their Halloween candy...

Here's what you need:

1 package of Bacon 

Pitted Dates (strips of bacon x 2)

Almond Butter

Toothpicks (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut strips of bacon into fourths.  So, if you started with 10 slices of bacon, you'll now have 40 pieces. (Sorry...this is for Heather, afterall, so I'm breaking down the math for her.)  Cut enough dates in half, so you have a 1/2 date for each 1/4 piece of bacon. (So, if you have 40 strips, you'll cut 20 whole dates....to make 40 half dates.) (I think the original recipe calls for whole dates and half strips of bacon, but this way you get twice the amount of goodness for half the ingredients.  And we don't think this compromises Jordan's Bacon Candy one bit.)

2. Spoon the almond butter into the date halves.  Wrap the almond butter-stuffed-dates with bacon.  You can secure them with a toothpick or just wrap them tightly without a toothpick.  (I've done them both ways.)  Place them on a baking sheet. (Tip: Line baking sheet with foil and fold all four sides up 1/2 an inch from each edge. This will keep all bacon grease inside the lined foil...and you won't have to clean your baking sheet.  Easy cleanup.  I'm all about that.)

3. Bake for 10 minutes.  Then turn them over and bake for another 15 minutes or so until done-ness.  Now...here's where you're going to have to trust me.  They taste great hot out of the oven.  But the taste EVEN better about an hour or so after they've cooled.  They congeal into the perfect gooey-ness after they've cooled.  That's how we like them best.  (If you happen to have leftovers, they keep well in the fridge.) 

After Asher (we call him the Paleo Police in our house) traded in his crap Halloween candy and while he was snacking on his bacon candy, he was recounting the night before when we'd Trick-or-Treated at the Morchat's...who live in our neighborhood...but weren't passing out candy.

Asher: I know why Jordan and Danny didn't have any candy for us.
Me: Why is that?
A: B/c they love us too much.
Me: What do you mean?
A: They didn't want to poison us. Candy is poisonous. It's not worth having a tummy-ache. 
Me: You're right, buddy...some of us just aren't so quick to learn that.
A: Danny loves us the most, though, because he wanted to give us meat. He wants us to have big muscles like him one day.