Friday Funnies: My little "men"

Me: What are you boys doing?

Asher: Don't worry, Momma, I'm just teaching him how to be a man.

A conversation about aging

McKlayne, who had some leftover strawberry on her forehead, was eating her snack.

Asher: What's that on your forehead? Are you bleeding?

McKlayne: Nope, it's probably just a pimple.

Asher: A pimple? Oh dear!

M: Yep, I've got them all over me....even some on my cheeks.

A: It's okay, I've got some under my chin. Just happens as you get older, I guess.

M: Sure does. Must mean I'm getting married soon.

Just like twins

McKlayne: L and I are going to be twins today. I have just the perfect plan.

Me: Umm,okay...I can't wait to see this perfect plan.

A little while later she comes out in full costume...

McKlayne: Look, Mom, now we both have our Minnie ears. We look just like twins.

The nerve...

I hear all kinds of comments when I have both babies in tow but nothing like the conversation that occurred "around" me earlier this week...

A mother (maybe in her 70's) and daughter (in her 50's) pair were behind me in the checkout line at Hobby Lobby. 

"Wow! Look at her, she's got twins! She is busy." 

"I mean...look at how skinny she is."

"We'd look like that, too, if we had two little ones..."

I looked behind me...wondering who they're talking about but wanting to see this skinny-momma-of-twins for myself.

The daughter says to me, " You are so skinny and you BIRTHED TWINS!! It must be because you're so busy chasing them everywhere..."

I look back down at my double stroller terribly confused. The ladies clearly can't see my two babies inside....they only see the back of it. They may be being raised like twins, but it's quite obvious that I didn't birth one of these babies.

I'm puzzled about how to respond. I smile as I'm beginning to get a bit nervous about how I'm going to put an end to all of the undeserved compliments. 

Still trying to figure out quite what to say, I open my mouth to give a response when the mother cuts me off.  "Yes, she may be skinny but look at the dark circles under her eyes..."

(I think my mouth was still open at this point.) That's it. I'm completely speechless.  Is there even a response for this? I turn to my cashier.  Her mouth is now open, too, as she gives me an apologetic look. I grabbed my receipt and walked out as fast as I could.

I'm not sure why I am the one, in those moments, that starts getting sweaty and wants to disappear as soon as I can.

This definitely rivals all of those wonderful comments that people make when you're pregnant.

Friday Funnies: Princess Grapes

We were at Sam's earlier this week and spotted these in their produce section.

Immeditaly Asher convinced McKlayne that we needed these by saying, "McKlayne! If you eat these, they'll turn you into a princess!"

So, they made their way into our cart and, of course, that's all she wanted to eat that day.

That night when our little Sleeping Beauty was fast asleep, we changed her into her Snow White costume.

She walked out of her room the next morning bewildered.  It took no prompting from us.  She knew exactly what had happened....



(Asher, apparently did NOT share in her excitement nor believe it.)

Friday Funnies

Asher was looking at the pile of Christmas cards that we'd received.  He was going through each family, saying, "The Birkenfeld's sent us a Christmas card..." and so on as he recognized each family by their pictures.

A few minutes later I hear a really excited inhale, "Momma! Mary and Joseph sent us a Christmas card!" as he held this up:

************

One night while I was playing Bunko, Asher's dinner prayer went like this:

"God, will you please help Mommy win her game and help the other mommies to lose? Amen."

I, did, in fact, win a prize that night....just for the record.

************

We were at the mall and McKlayne spotted a mannequin wearing a big, stuffed coat with a furry collar.

"Oh my! That lady has a cat on her shoulders! Do you see the cat lady, Mommy?"

************

And...usually the Friday Funnies are reserved for only things that my kids say...BUTT...this one is just way too good, I had to share.  Only because I love this girl so much is this laughable...it still might make the top of my list of most outrageous things said to me during pregnancy, though.  It even beats this comment.

Here goes...earlier this week a college girl was sitting at my kitchen table.  I'm standing up at the counter making my kid's plates for dinner...she is very obviously checking out my growing pregnant body.

CG: Does your butt get bigger during pregnancy?!

M: {Speechless...I wish I could have seen my own face, but I pretty much gave her the, "Yeah, you just said that outloud" look.}

CG: Because, I was just going to say, that your booty is looking cute these days.

M: Ummm....yeah.  Nice one.

Mel, I'm calling you today so you can sing me my favorite pregnancy theme song!

I must add that I feel MOST sorry for my husband when I receive comments like these, because he spends the next several days really trying to overdue it on the compliments.  Sweet thing.

Friday Funnies

Asher sneezed and I was preoccupied with something and didn't say anything.

Then he sneezed again.

"Bless myself!"

************

Charlie and I were talking about how good a deal BlueBell was at HEB a few week ago (2/$6 and 2/$4 with 2 coupons-sign up for an account and then go to coupons) and Char asked the kids, "Who wants Blue Bell?"

McKlayne: NO! Not me! I want Pink Bell!!

*************

And...the best for last...

Yesterday was laundry day (and a cold one) I was wearing yoga pants and a small long sleeved t-shirt that wasn't quite covering my belly at times when my yoga pants would slip down.  But...since we were going to be at home all day, I didn't bother to change my shirt.

Asher was playing in his room when I walked in to put some clothes back in his closet.  He looked up at me and said, "Hey Gus-Gus!"

(And this is Gus-Gus, the chubby mouse, whose shirt did not quite fit him, from Cinderella.)

Friday Funnies

McKlayne and I were driving in a "scary part" of downtown Bryan.  A man with a red bandanna on his head and huge hoop earrings pulled up beside us....just staring as he's hanging out his window.

I sped up so we didn't have to be right next to each other on the street.  (He was creeping me out.)

In the most excited voice, McKlayne said, "Look, Mommy, a pirate!!"

*************

We were leaving the park last week and Asher was telling his friends goodbye.  He kissed Taylor Joy on the cheek as he gave her a hug (not quite sure how Pastor Allen will feel about that one...) and, not to be left out, Beckett insisted on a kiss, also.  Reluctantly, Asher gave him one.  Except it was on the mouth.

As we were walking home, Asher said, "Beckett, gave me a watermelon kiss.....I can't believe it."

Me: Oh yeah...what's a watermelon kiss?

A: You know, a really juicy one.

************

We were sitting at the table eating breakfast.

I stretched and said, "Ohhh man, I am tired!!"

McKlayne: You not tired, Mommy.  You Tirby.

(I love hearing her say "Tirby"...)

Friday Funnies

As I was going to kiss Asher goodnight before I went to bed, on an out of town visit this summer, I found him like this:

I will keep the owner of these unmentionables anonymous to protect the innocent. But, apparently, these had been in a stack of clean laundry in the room that Asher was sleeping in for the night. I guess he thought they'd make a great accessory!

When I went to ask him the next morning what he was doing with that "thing" on his head, he said, "I was just being an Indian."

********

Last week we visited the nursing home, and Mrs. M. was the last stop on our in-room visits. She is one of my favorite residents to visit. We were talking about pregnancy and she was reminiscing on her three pregnancies. And then she said, "You don't look pregnant...well, not in your stomach anyway...but your arms sure are getting plump."

Jordan, I guess you have your work cut out for you ;)

Friday Funnies

We were driving in our neighborhood...

A: Look at that brick house, McKlayne, the big bad wolf can't blow that house down.

***********

I walked into McKlayne's room and saw a HUGE dead roach on the floor. I screamed.

Asher comes running in, followed by McKlayne.

A: What's going on? Are you okay, Momma?

Me: Yes, there's just a huge roach...

A: {Spotting it}...Oh, McKlayne, look at it! That's impossible!

McKlayne: Can I kill it?

A: Nope, it's already killed.  McKlayne, it is huge! That is impossible!

********

The kids were watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse:

A: Momma, Pete needs to settle down.

Me: How come?

A: Because he's being ugly to Toodles... (The mousekatool...whatever he is...some computerized robot thing?)

*******

McKlayne ran in the front door barely missing the sprinklers that were watering the grass: "Whoa, that was a close one."

******

McKlayne and Asher were spinning themselves in circles around the kitchen, making themselves "dizzy."

Of course, McKlayne mimicking everything Asher says, chirped in with her own version every time she spun around..."Whoa, I'm getting BUSY..."

******

And, I'll leave you with this one...that happened just yesterday as we were driving around town running errands.

A: Momma, how come you keep checking your face out, again and again and again?

Yup...I had been looking in the mirror, making sure my nose was clean, nothing was in my teeth, fixing my hair, etc...nothing better than your three year old calling you out on vanity.

Friday Funnies

A little late...sorry, I haven't been feeling the best around here.


I just started throwing up...I didn't do that with either of my last two pregnancies. So, I guess every pregnancy truly is unique. The good news is, I don't feel sick at ALL in the morning or throughout my day (as long as I am continuously eating...I am snacking every two hours, it is ridiculous) until about 4 p.m. as I am trying to get dinner ready. Then right around dinner, I throw up and feel much better. At least their is some relief and I don't feel nauseous until bed time like I did before throwing up...I would feel sick all evening...so, for this I am thankful.


I'm also thankful for my sweet Charlie who has cooked more than half the dinners since I started feeling so nauseous. He is an expert at breakfasts for dinner, grilled cheese sandwiches and grilling.


Anyway, I know you didn't come to read about me puking...so...on to the Friday Funnies:


Before Asher went to bed, I was eating some Coffee Punch that was leftover from Ashley's wedding shower. (It's like the next best thing to having Blue Bell in your freezer and I don't even like coffee! I'll share the recipe below.)


And an hour and a half later, Asher was still awake, so Charlie went to go talk to him:


A: Daddy, I want to tell you a story.


D: You can tell me a short story, because you really need to be asleep.


A: OK... Once upon a time, Mommy made some coffee punch and saved some for me.


***************


Daddy takes McKlayne potty outside at the park:


(After tee-teeing while Daddy was holding her in a squatting position, legs out)


M: Daddy, I want to do it again.


**************


We were standing in line at the store a couple days ago and a beautiful young Asian teen with long hair piled up on top of her head was behind us in line talking to her friend.


McKlayne pointed behind me and said: Look, Mommy! There's Ni-Hao-Kai-lan! I see Ni-Hao-Kai-Lan!

(My kids don't even watch that show but I think they must see commercials for it while watching Wonder Pets?)


***************


Coffee Punch Recipe:


(Marylou gave me this recipe several years ago after she made it for my wedding shower.  Now, I hardly throw a shower without making this.)

3 c. strong coffee
2 c. sugar
1 pint cream (or 1/2 & 1/2) (2 c.)
1 quart milk (4 c.)
2 t. vanilla
 

Dissolve sugar into hot coffee and let cool. Add other ingredients.  


Pour into rubbermaid to freeze (at least overnight). Remove from freezer 2 hrs. before serving.  Mix and serve very icy in a punch bowl.  (One batch serves about 18 small punch cups.)

Friday Funnies: Scary Baby

Yesterday I went to the doctor.  I am 8 weeks pregnant.  My due date is February 19.

So, we told the kids they were going to have a new baby brother or sister.  Asher wanted to know why he couldn't see the baby in my belly and when it was going to grow.

I tried to explain using the magazine I received from the doctor's office:

Friday Funnies

M: Okay kiddos, lunch is ready.

A: It is?

M: Yup.

A: Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Momma. You're a hero!

************

Mimi gives Asher a handful of m&m's.

A: I know you love me, Mimi.

************

A man at the grocery store asked McKlayne her name.  

Me: Her name's McKlayne.

McKlayne: No, I'm Princess Klayne

Friday Funnies

 Meet Ryan Price. (Formerly known as "Ry-Ry" to Asher. He recently graduated to calling him "Ryan Price"-most always with his first and last name together.) If Asher were to have one, Ryan would definitely be on his "Top 10 Favorite People" list. Partly because he's an incredibly gifted piano player. And if you know our Asherboy, you know how dear music is to his soul.

Ryan plays the keyboard at our church, New Life.  We've known and loved Ryan for a long time...way back before we were even married he was in our Hope Group as a silly, but thought-provoking college guy.  It's been neat to see how much Ryan has matured (in most areas) and how he loves the Lord with all that he is.

Ryan and his adorable wife Sara have become good friends of ours.  Here they are at Asher's circus birthday party.  (I will post about this soon.)  They kindly obliged to take all the pics for our photo booth.

They are also the ones who took our awesome family pictures when we were originally starting the adoption process (I don't think I've mentioned that yet here on the blog.) The Prices LOVE adoption. (If you're adopting, go check out Ryan's "Photos to Adopt" post here.)   In the last couple months, our plans have changed a bit, as we believe that God is calling us to go the foster (with the intention to adopt) route.  Ryan and Sara are also taking foster training with us right now.  (We should all be certified in June! Woohoo!)

Anyway...sorry....I got side tracked from the Friday Funnies with my long introduction.  Now that you know Ryan and Sara...

A few weeks ago, I was busy cleaning the house while Asher was making "music" back in his room. Since the Hendrick's gave us Hayden's old (complete!) drumset there has been a bunch of music-making going on in the Apel home.  I walked back to his room to return some lost toys, when he was pounding on the keyboard.  He proudly said, "Look, Momma, I'm being Ryan Price."  and this is what I saw:

Friday Funnies: Nursing Home Edition

We've been visiting a nursing home with a few friends and their young children for a couple months.  

Our first visit upon arriving at the nursing home each week is to "the lady in the blue chair".  We follow the same routine each time with Ms. Alma.  As soon as we walk in, we see Ms. Alma in her blue chair, she greets us and Asher runs up to give her a hug.  She lovingly slaps his cheeks so hard with excitement.  (I wish I could have recorded the expression on Asher's face the first time we went to visit this sweet lady. Asher's "What on earth on you doing to me, lady?" look slowly turned into a sweet little sheepish grin as she told him "what a pretty little girl" he was.)

Lately, Asher's gotten so bold as to correct her by saying, "Hey, Lady! I am NOT a girl! I am a BOY!!"  But, sweet Ms. (Hard-of-Hearing) Alma just replies with more hard slaps and, "Yeah, you sure are! Pretty girl!!" 


Same.Routine.Every.Time. (But, Asher hasn't quite figured out that she can't hear his desperate rebuttal.)

*******************

I try to "prep" the kids before each visit.  Any time "nursing home" is mentioned Asher immediately says something about "the lady in the blue chair".  I tried to capture the scripted conversation that goes on between us each time we talk about visiting the nursing home, but for some reason it's just not the same when the camera is rolling.  Maybe I am a little irritating with all my prompting? :

****************

Ms. Alma's not the only one who thinks Asher looks girly.  Megan and I were chatting with some ladies while painting their nails.  We were pointing out which kids belonged to whom, when Ms. Mildred cut me off, "Did you say that was your son?  Well, you listen to me--don't you go letting him be a sissy!!" 


I politely tried to reassure her that he was ALL boy but she continued, "Well he may run around and act like a boy, but he looks like a sissy!  The first impression paints a good picture, so don't let him look like one!"  


How do you argue with that?  (Luckily for Ms. Mildred, Megan was painting her nails.)  And sweet Ms. Helen kindly cut in and said, "Well, he sure is pretty enough to be a girl, anyway..."

*****************

While visiting Ms. Leona, (who gave us permission to come visit her for "just a little while,") Melissa and I were gushing over how great she looked for being 97 years old.  Asher quickly took notice and wanting to be included in praising her himself, walked up and said, "Wow, you have a really great imagination!!!"

After a few minutes of conversation we sensed that it was time to move on, so we started saying our goodbyes.  When it was Asher's turn he leaned in to give Ms. Leona a tight embrace around the neck and unintentionally sent him and Ms. Leona flying across the room in her wheelchair.*  After that, it was, indeed, time to make our exit.

********************

We made our next visit to Ms. Cleo.  (She is definitely one of the kids' favorite residents for her constant "I love you, I love you, I love you's", her willingness to go outside and feed the ducks with them, her continuous hand squeezes and her love for singing songs, especially Old MacDonald. Oh, and McKlayne likes her for her 'pretty necklace(s)'.)  


Last week, Asher picked up her aged hand and brought it right up to his eyes, "Whoa! Those things are WRINK--LE--YYYYY!!!"  Sweet Ms. Cleo just responded with "I love you, I love you, I love you."

****************

Bloopers:

(Ashley, what is up with the "dirty" kisses?)

*Disclaimer: No elderly were injured in the makings of this Friday Funnies.

Friday Funnies: A new one and a repost

Disclaimer: This is never funny in the moment that your child is correcting you. 

But, I thought this was fitting since we were just talking about how edifying motherhood is in Her Hands last night:

One day, I was impatient and my tone of voice towards Asher was short and ugly.

A: Momma, you're talking ugly to me.

M: You're right. I'm sorry, Asher.

A: It's okay, I forgive you, Momma.   But, Momma...what does Matthew 22:39 say?

M: (Uh-oh...I wasn't getting out of this one...) And the second is like it:You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

A:  And was talking ugly to me like that, loving me, Momma?

M: No, Asher, it wasn't.  I am sorry for not loving you by talking ugly to you.  And I'm sorry for being a bad example to you, too. 

A: It's okay, Momma.  But I want you to love God by loving me...

******************

And just so we all remember how "awesome" of a mom I can be (I don't want to pretend like I have it all together around here!) I am reposting this from this original Friday Funnies:

About a month or so ago, I had been having a bad day. I was irritable at the kids. Charlie. Everyone. It was a tense day in the Apel home. 

I was especially irritable at Asher. I had been impatient with him and my tone towards him had been ugly. I had to stop several times throughout the day to apologize to him for "speaking to him in an ugly way." Even after all that, I still hadn't learned. Right before dinner, I was short with Charlie when he asked me a question. Being the wise man that he is, Charlie asked me to pray before dinner (knowing that I needed to examine my heart before I could offer a prayer of thanks to God.) 

So I started, "Lord, I'm sorry that I've just been ugly to everyone today..." then I hear this tiny little, "Meeeeeeeee!!" I look at Asher and he has one of his hands up in the air as high as he could reach, while his head was still bowed reverently, eyes shut tight. I guess he thought God needed some help in figuring out who I had been ugly to that day. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this point...I think I did both.

Friday Funnies

Asher was sitting on the potty with a book:

A: Daddy, Momma bought this book.

C: How do you know that?

A: Look right here. See?  That's a Barbie-code.

**************

Last week we had several errands to run, each time we'd get out of the car and walk through a parking lot, I would make my two baby ducklings hold hands and the three of us would form one long, often wandering chain.

Every time we would link up...Asher would look down at all of our hands and them up at me and proudly say, "Look, Momma, we're just like a family!!"

**************

Asher was drinking a smoothie and was having trouble sucking it through the straw because it was so thick.

A:  Awww man! My smoothies not working! It's out of batteries!

Friday Funnies

Setting the Scene...

Asher has grown up seeing Momma "exercise" as I workout to either Jillian's 30 Day Shred or Gilad, "The Israeli Stud-muffin." (I think it's funny that FitTv refers to him as that...I also think it's funny that this is who I used to watch my mom exercise "with"....though, 20 years later, the wardrobe is much more updated!  I recommend either of these for a really challenging but short 20 minute workout.)

Okay...now that you know that...

While stopped at a light by the College Station Crossfit, the owner of the gym comes just outside the door and begins to do squats with kettlebells during the rush hour traffic. 

A: Daddy?

D: Yeah, Buddy?

A: What's that man doing?

D: He's exercising. 

A: Oh... {a long pause....}  Where's his TV?

******************

This reminded me of a video that Charlie had taken of Asher around Christmas (hence the tv on the floor in transition to another room to make way for the Christmas tree.)  Char said that he didn't even get the best part on video...but I still thought you might enjoy this.  Here he is working out with Gilad, you know, while brushing his teeth:

Friday Funnies: Restroom Edition Take 2

Remember the last Friday Funnies: Restroom Edition?  This one isn't quite as bad, but it sure did remind of that unforgettable moment when we were in the bathroom stall at church.

We were on our way to a friend's riverhouse last week, and I had too much of my large Sonic lime water (if you know me well, you know this is my most favorite drink. EVER.) and my bladder was about to burst. Asher had to go "tee-tee", too, so we stopped at a restaurant to use the restroom.  As I squatted over the toilet Asher was carefully watching me:

A: Hey, Momma...where is your pee-pee? I don't see it.  Is it missing?

M: Umm...I don't have one.

A: {in a very sympathetic voice with his eyebrows furrowed.} Awww...poor, Momma doesn't have a peepee. I'm sorry, Momma.  Your teetee has to come out of your bottom.  How sad.

(I carefully-and briefly-went on to explain that girls don't have "pee-pees".)

A: Oh! So, only boys have pee-pees? Only boys and Daddies?

M: Yup. Only boys and daddies.

**************

Asher tooted really loud.

McKlayne: That's a good one, Asher!!

DIY Play Kitchen & FF

(The Friday Funnies are in here, I promise...just keep reading.)

Charlie worked very hard to make the kids a play kitchen for Christmas...and I can't believe I haven't showed it off, yet! (For some reason, I thought that I already had.)

When we first started talking about what to get the kids for Christmas, we decided that we would make them something. I had seen so many DIY Play Kitchens on the blogosphere. And every time we'd go over to someone's house with a child's kitchen, that was the first (and most of the time, only) thing that my kids would play with.

Knowing that if my Charlie could take this kitchen:

and turn it into this (more details here) :

then, a tiny little child's play kitchen would be no big deal for him. I started showing him different examples of play kitchens that people were making out of unwanted furniture.

I think they all started with this girl...isn't she a genius? (Speaking of "genuis", I had to change that when spellcheck saved me...but I just outed myself, so, whatever.)  Originally I had wanted to do something small like one of these (more example of Jane's work) out of a nightstand or cabinet.  

But then we got to thinking...to avoid breaking up many future shoving wars, I thought it would be better to have a bigger kitchen so both of the kids could play side by side. I was inspired by this one:

Don't the countertops look like granite? They are modge podged fabric!!  (And, she was kind enough to answer my bazillion questions.)

So, we started with an entertainment center that we got off Craigslist for $20.  Asher had lots of fun helping Daddy build the "shelf" as we kept referring to it:



But once it actually started to look like a kitchen, there were several evenings and weekends that I had to distract the kids while Charlie worked:

He spent many late nights finishing all the details.  One of the many reasons I love him.

Our finished play kitchen:

Charlie, the perfectionist, sliced every bubble in the fabric countertop and got it completely smooth.  We got the faucet & knobs for the stove from the Habitat ReStore.  The sink is a buffet steam tray.  The burners are yogurt lids.  The oven racks are cooling racks from Dollar Tree.  The pans are hanging on dowel rods (and we got the hooks from Ikea when we lived in our very first apartment that had one drawer and maybe three cabinets...we hung everything in that kitchen but I didn't care...I was just so happy to be married.)  The oven handle is from Lowe's.  One of my favorite elements, is the wine glass rack that Char just had to make. (I'm glad that he insisted.) 

My crafty-sister, Kyle, had drawn the kid's names for Christmas.  She knew they couldn't have a play kitchen without some accessories!  She made them these adorable aprons with some felt food and wooden spoons in each pocket.

McKlayne received a felt poptart (how perfect is that?) in her apron pocket. (You can't see it here, but she sewed each tiny "sprinkle" bead on by hand.  Talk about a labor of love.)

Asher received a bag of ravioli:

As soon as Asher opened the gift from Aunt Kyle, he gasped with excitement and picked up the wooden spoon, "Our own spanking spoons!?"

One side has hooks to hang their adorable aprons:

(There's a better pic of that poptart!)

And the other side has a chalkboard that keeps the kids busy drawing:

For Christmas, each of the grandparents gave the kids food for their kitchen: pizza, bread, veggies & fruit, and a felt food set of hamburgers with all the fixings!  And the "College Station Grandparents", Duane & Marylou, gave them pots, pans & utensils!  Thanks everyone for helping furnish the kitchen!

There were so many girly things I wanted to applique on the linens...

BUT, I had to keep it neutral, since we want even manly men to feel comfortable cooking in this kitchen!  I decided on the stack of bowls:

Here is Asher cutting up veggies for soup.

One day I was cooking dinner in (my own) kitchen, while the kids were back in McKlayne's room playing with their's. And I hear Asher yelling, "Momma, McKlayne's making babies back here!"

M: {What?! Did I just hear right? Where did he hear that?} What did you say, Asher? {as I hurry back to her room}

A: McKlayne is back here making babies!!

And I walk back to see this:

The only complaint Shortie has about the kitchen, is that she can't quite reach the back of it, so she often climbs into the sink to play.

Now, I'm on the lookout for a stool that is light enough for her to move on her own.

Charlie's labor of love was well worth it.  There isn't a day that goes by that these two don't play with this thing.