Friday Funnies: Restroom Edition

Yes, I have tried to prolong this post, but the comedian hasn't been producing much material lately...so...without further delay here is the first (and hopefully last) ever Friday Funnies: Restroom Edition:

While Asher was potty training, (back in April) the boys were working outside when Asher had to go potty. He was trying to go in the house when Char stopped him and said, "Hey, we're boys. We don't have to go potty in the house. We can go outside. Let's go on that tree over there." Asher was ecstatic. The boys went over a few yards to one of the trees and Asher did his business with a big grin on his sweet little face the entire time. After he was done, they went back to work. Asher was still pondering what had just happened.

A: "Dadda, can I go look at my teetee again?"

D: "Sure, Buddy."

A: {panicked} "Dadda, Dadda! Where'd my teetee go? Where's my teetee?"

D: {assesing the situation} "Oh. It went into the ground. The tree was thirsty so he drank it. It's all gone."

A: {shaking his finger at the tree} "No, no. I want my teetee back! Gimme back my teetee, tree!!"

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One evening, not long after Asher was potty trained, we were attending an evening service at church when Asher needed to go potty. I really had to go, too, so I jumped at the chance to take him. (Keep in mind we had just finished potty training so he was VERY interested in seeing what everyone was "producing" and quite the encourager at even the slightest productions.) If you were in the stall next to me (or in the restroom with us period...and believe me there were at least three other people in there at some point) this is the play by play that you would have heard:

A: Are you going teetee or poop, Momma?

M: {ignoring him...}

A: {louder} Are you going poop, Momma, or just teetee?

M: shhh...{in a whisper} I am going poop, Asher. Please stop talking...

A: {ignoring my request he continued on in an excited voice}Oh, good girl, Momma! Way to go poop! Is it going to be a stinky one?

M: {I picked up my feet so that no one could see what shoes I was wearing and identify me later...I think it was too late...I continued to ignore him, thinking that his questions would stop...}

A: Are you going to have floaters or snakes, Momma?

M: Asher...please...STOP TALKING. {I put my hand over his mouth. Thank you Daddy and Uncle Jo for your bathroom humor contribution...he couldn't have said that without you two in his life....I quickly finished...as soon as I noticed that all of the feet as far as I could see were gone, I got up.}

A:Whoa, Mommy! That was a good one! Good girl! Do you want some M&M's?

Just trying to keep it real here, people...Hope you got a good giggle at my expense.

Note to self: never take Asher to potty with me when I have to "go" in public ever again.