March 21, 2012

New Normal

These days don’t leave much time for blogging. Most days, I realize by the end of the day, that I haven’t even looked in the mirror all day…and wonder if I even remembered to brush my teeth that morning? No doubt I haven’t brushed my hair. (Except for Sundays…I do manage to brush it on Sundays.)

My days are filled with holding babies. Feeding babies. (Why, yes, that is a picture of Oliver nursing.) Changing babies. Keeping four children alive. (This is often just the goal of the day.) Cooking or assembling meals during naptime.  Cleaning up after meals and sweeping my floor. Repeat.

The bigs are watching more tv than I’d like. And they’re also getting away with more snacks than normal…they’ve found that I’m much more likely to agree with a request if it keeps the peace, these days. Smart kids.

(I've been pleased with how much she adores L and really believes she is her "sister".)
But, slowly, slowly…we’re all starting to adjust and I’m beginning to accept that we just entered a new stage…life can’t quite look like it did 8 weeks ago. I need to set new limits on our schedule and lower my expectations of a clean house.  It’s bothersome to me that I am so concerned about that…way.too.concerned. I'm trying to let that go...

I could gobble these brothers up. Oliver loves having another baby in the house. Truly. He could not have embraced her more thankful for that.
“Enjoy them. Enjoy them…” my aunt’s advice echoes in my head. I’m trying. Some days are easier to do that than others. There are hard moments in the really good days; really great moments in the difficult days. And, just like I discovered in early marriage, the most difficult person to deal with in all of this is myself. Sin. Selfishness. Pride. So much ugliness has been uncovered in this new journey… the ugliness is not new, it’s always been there…I’m just becoming more acquainted with it now as it stares me in the face, amidst the chaos, loss of control and unpredictability. The good news of Jesus and his saving grace is becoming even better news as I am confronted with how much I need it.

No comments: